Project five is about re-integrating. I have become an independent person without focusing on epilepsy. It is about re-growth. I celebrate my arrival and I am choosing to move towards recovery. My abilities are blossoming, I am thankful for all of my experiences. I have persevered.
Re-Integration: In this piece, there are two hands. One hand represents my old beliefs about myself, what held me back, and the other hand represents my new beliefs in myself. I am choosing to turn away from what held me back and work on my recovery without focusing on epilepsy.
My Heart Knows the Truth: I wrote the following poem on the piece. My brain won't remember by my heart will. Grief becomes conflicting when I don't have memories of you. We are family and I can't recall one shared experience. I cry feeling alone in my sorrow but my heart knows the truth. I wonder why my memories were taken and my heart silently comforts me..... Shhhh you don't need an answer. Like a stranger, I stand like an outsider listening to your legacy. You seemed like a great person, I wish I got to know you, or did I? See my brain can't remember you, but my heart, it knows the truth. This poem was written to share the depth of memory loss in epilepsy. The hand over the heart is a reflection of nurturing self.
You Suffered Too: The following poem is written on the sculpture. You were my unsung hero when I was in physical harm. You cared for me, kept me safe, and watched over me. For years you stood beside me in times of desperation and comforted me in times of suffering. Your voice was under-recognized, under-appreciated, and often un-heard. I wonder, who comforted you? You stood beside me when I became reactive. You watched me overcome horrendous psychological challenges. You probably never did get a “thank you.” I can’t help but wonder, who comforted you? Where was your support? Did anyone ask you if you were ok? I didn’t know every time you watched me ‘fall,’ you hurt too. It wasn’t an easy journey; we didn’t get to choose. Today, as you see me stand strong, I want to thank you, while also acknowledging that your suffering is valid too. This poem was written to express empathy and understanding for other peoples journey with epilepsy. The hand over the heart is a reflection of compassion.
The Arrival: This sculpture represents confidence in myself. I am thriving! I am independent, I believe in myself, and It’s time to celebrate!
Re-Growth 1 of 2: This piece is the first humanistic sculpture I created. Lizards surround the piece, specifically on the throat, temporal lobe, and head. The lizards represent re-growth, and shedding your skin. The lizard reminds me to pull from my strengths and not doubt myself. I don't know why I put the purple door knobs on the side of the arms, but I wanted them to represent epilepsy, and I think it was my way of extending support for others.
Re-Growth 2 of 2: This piece is the first humanistic sculpture I created. Lizards surround the piece, specifically on the throat, temporal lobe, and head. The lizards represent re-growth, and shedding your skin. The lizard reminds me to pull from my strengths and not doubt myself. I don't know why I put the purple door knobs on the side of the arms, but I wanted them to represent epilepsy, and I think it was my way of extending support for others.
Reunited: When I created this piece, It reminded me of who I was before surgery. It reminded me of my undergraduate years in college for fine arts, all my drawing courses, and my strengths. I was confident, and after surgery, I doubted my abilities. Due to all the memory loss from the seizures, it felt like my ‘past self’ was dead. I cut her out of my life and started over. It felt like there were two stories of my life: what happened before and after surgery. This piece reminds me that even though I can’t remember parts of who I am, that girl who existed before surgery is still with me. We are reunited.